Mary, Model of Femininity

I would just like to share with you a little bit about my Lenten journey that I am going on during this liturgical season. I mention it for two reasons: 

1. It will keep me accountable. I tend to get a little bit lazy as Lent goes on, but I don’t want that to happen this year. 

2. This message is important for all my sisters in Christ.

The days of giving up only television or sweets are over for me as far as Lent is concerned. There is absolutely nothing wrong with these penitential practices, but I feel like we can really use Lent to go even deeper than that. And so I am approaching Lent a little bit differently now. I am focusing on a theme, and one that I really need to dive deeper in.

Authentic Femininity.

That’s right, I’m becoming a feminist for Lent! But not in the sense that is typical of our society these days. I’m becoming a feminist in that I am going on a journey; to discover true and authentic femininity. I am a woman, and I don’t think I can truly live out my dignity as a woman to the fullest extent if I don’t take time to dive into what authentic femininity actually means. I refuse to accept the definition of woman that our society hurls at us. I am not liberated by my “independence” and “choices.” No, my only freedom – freedom to love – comes from the truth of Christ. The freedom to love and live according to the dignity of womanhood that God has given me. And that is the freedom that I claim today.

http://www.focusequip.org/

When I think of a woman who is truly feminine, I instantly think of the Blessed Mother. Mary is SUCH a BABE! But it occurred to me, she can TEACH us what true femininity is. There is truly no better model of what it means to be a true woman, why wouldn’t we try to learn from her?

And this, my friends, is where my Lenten journey comes in. I have embarked upon a journey to attempt to learn this true femininity from Mary. Through reflecting on the mysteries of Christ’s life from Mary’s perspective in the Rosary, I hope to learn a little bit more about what it means to truly live my dignity as a woman. To not settle for what society tells me about womanhood.  To learn what it means to be a daughter of Mary instead of a daughter of Eve. To radically choose a different path.

 

But the thing is, I think all internal changes involve the external as well. We are body and soul. I feel that my internal journey should have an external manifestation. So as I journey with Mary, I am going to daily express my femininity in ways such as wearing skirts or accessorizing. When wearing a skirt rather than a pair of jeans, you act differently.  If I am serious about this journey, I need to dive into it.

In the coming weeks, expect to hear little nuggets of truth or insights I gain from this journey.

Mother Mary, teach me what it means to truly be a woman. 

Jezu Ufam Tobie

Wow, I have not been very good about blogging this semester! It has been over a month now since my last post… But that doesn’t mean things have been less crazy over here in Austria, because things have been so busy! Let’s see, I have visited Vienna, Rome, Prague, and Poland. And next week I will be heading back to Italy and then Rome and Assisi! Time just flies.

I would however, like to share in a little bit more detail about the pilgrimage to Poland that I just returned from and what I learned while I was there.

First things first. I went on this trip as a pilgrim.  Rather than see Poland as a tourist, I carried intentions with me on this journey and so when I ran into uncomfortable situations I was able to offer my small sufferings up for those intentions. I carried those intentions with me every step of our journey. But I didn’t carry them alone. I had three companions to help me on my journey. Pay attention, I will mention them! J

Our journey included visiting the shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa, Auschwitz and Birkenau, the city of Krakow, the shrine of Divine Mercy, and Wadowice.

Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa: so unbelievably beautiful. We were able to arrive in time for the unveiling of the image of the Black Madonna, and this was a sight to behold. Mary was so beautiful, as was the entire shrine. It only seemed fitting to me that our beautiful Mother would have such a beautiful shrine!

Auschwitz/Birkenau: To say that these places were difficult to walk through would be a complete understatement. Words do not describe. It was unbelievably numbing to walk through a place where so much death and horror had taken place, less than 100 years ago. But the thing is, God’s mercy is endless. Right in the heart of Auschwitz, right when it was getting to be way too much to handle, we were hit in the face with God’s hope and mercy. That is when we arrived at the cell of St. Maximilian Kolbe. (If you are unfamiliar with him, he was a priest who gave up his life for another prisoner in Auschwitz, but there is so much more to his story, so look him up!) To have such a witness to hope, right in the middle of all that horror, just screamed to the world that love is SO much stronger than death. Love always conquers.

Shrine of Divine Mercy: How incredible it was to go from such a place of death to the complete source of life: God’s mercy. I felt like my soul was refreshed in the mercy of God. While we there, we were able to venerate the relics of and to ask for the intercession of St. Faustina (again, look her up if you haven’t heard of her!), who was such a witness to the power of God’s mercy! Death and destruction are present in this life, but God’s mercy can conquer all! It truly is endless!

Krakow/Wadowice: The best part about these two places was being able to walk in the footsteps of Blessed John Paul II. Wadowice is his hometown and he was the bishop of Krakow for part of his life. He lived through the horror of the Holocaust. He knew how bad this world can get, how much it can seem that evil has won. But as he went through his ministry and his life, his proclamation to the world was clear: Be not afraid! This didn’t come from his being naive about the world and what’s going on. This came from seeing what the world is offering and recognizing that we are meant for so much more.

In conclusion,

God’s mercy is endless.

Love conquers all.

Jesus, I trust in You.

Our Lady of Czestochowa,

St. Maximilian Kolbe,

St. Faustina,

Blessed John Paul II,

PRAY FOR US.

Austria is beautiful!

This blog for the next four months might become a little bit of a travel blog...but not your typical travel blog. For those of you who do not know, I am studying abroad in beautiful Austria this semester! Rather than bore you with all the details I could share, I plan on trying to record the beauty I encounter as I "travel the world."
As I write this post, I am sitting in the Kartause, which is an 800 year old former Carthusian monastery, at the foot of the Alps. I arrived here four days ago and I still can't believe the fact that this is seriously my home for the next four months. So unreal.
I don't really have anything profound to say with this post, but I would like to share with you some of the beauty that is the Kartause... I think the best way to do this would be to just share some of the photos I have taken. It has been snowy since we arrived here, and last night we got at least a foot more of snow! It is seriously a winter wonderland. I hope you enjoy the pictures! :)

The Kartause

Another view of the Kartause, with
the mountains in the background 

The view from our window

Also from our window 

Beauty in Singleness

Relationships.

It seems that everything in our society is focused on them. Commonly, happiness itself is linked to relationship status. And honestly, this makes sense because the way we were created as human beings is for communion. We are created to be in relationship with other people. However, sometimes the desire for a romantic relationship when one is single can be really difficult. It is easy to look around at all the people in relationships, and wish you have what they have. At times there is definitely a degree of loneliness in being single. Right now, I would consider myself in a period of waiting. I am not in a relationship and clearly do not know who I am meant to marry. And I am at peace with that, considering I am only 20. I definitely have plenty of time and do not need to rush anything. But more importantly, I have high standards for myself and when it comes to these standards, I am not willing to compromise. I will and am content waiting until the proper and suitable man comes into my life. But sometimes this period of waiting can get to me. Sometimes I feel lonely.

And clearly, based on the number of songs written about it and the conversations I have had with other women in the same situation, I am not alone in this. Others feel the same exact way.

I have seen this pattern with friends in the past, that during a time of loneliness in singleness, it is so easy for girls to settle for relationships that they really shouldn't be in. Although a girl may have an idea of what she wants her future husband to be like, if she is feeling lonely, she is much more likely to enter into a relationship with a man of whom she has no intention of even considering marrying.

Photo Credit: madeinHisimage.org

But what most people don't realize, is that there is a very unique opportunity and beauty in singleness, that is not present at any other stage of life. The thing is, as a Catholic, we believe that every moment can be an opportunity to grow in holiness. And so it struck me the other day - even this moment of waiting and loneliness - can be used for good. Redemptive suffering involves taking something negative - suffering - and uniting it to the suffering of Christ and offering it up for a greater good. And I realized, through a conversation with a household sister of mine, that even this waiting can be used for a greater good.

The purpose of dating is to find your spouse. The purpose of marriage is to get your spouse to heaven. One day when I am married, in order to help my spouse get to heaven, I am going to have to sacrifice much and love much. But what makes me think that this love and sacrifice for my spouse will be a switch that I can simply turn on on my wedding day? I don't see any reason why I can't start practicing this now. After all, I am dealing with the eternity of the soul of my beloved. This takes serious preparation. And so I realized that in these moments when I get impatient, when my heart aches for a romantic relationship, when I feel lonely - I can offer them up for my future husband. Rather than increase my loneliness by watching sad romantic movies or blasting Taylor Swift, or even worse entering into a relationship that I shouldn't be in, out of love for my future husband I can allow this suffering to be offered for him, his needs, and most importantly, his salvation. I can face this cross with radical sacrifice and love. Offer it up for him. And not only that, but as my household sister pointed out to me, this small sacrifice I make now, could very seriously be what he needs at this very moment. My small sacrifices can be making a difference for him even though I don't know him yet! How cool is that!

I have no intention of settling for less than my worth just to appease this fleeting time of loneliness. And my dear sisters in Christ, I am urging you, please do not settle either. You are worth so much more. Use this time and this ache wisely. It is a beauty. It is a blessing. It is a gift.

"I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem...that you stir not up nor awaken love until it please."

                                                                                                       - Song of Songs 3:5

Spiritual Fatherhood

As part of my personal spiritual preparation for Christmas, I decided to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation earlier this week. I try to go on a regular basis, but especially before really big things like Christmas. And the Confession I had this week, was one of the best I have ever had in my life. What made it so special was the priest who I was talking to really entered into the role of spiritual father in our conversation. Not only could I see the love and forgiveness of Christ in him, but I truly felt like I was being given wise advice from my father. He helped me see more clearly on something I had been dealing with and spoke truth to my heart. Not surprising because I'm a woman, I have recently been reflecting a lot about relationships. Eventually I would love to marry a handsome, Catholic, faithful man, but recently I've been thinking a lot about what that means for me right now. I love to think about what my future husband might be like and how I might meet him, but after all I am a sophomore in college, clearly not ready to be married and living family life. I was told once (by another priest) and really take to heart that "everything worthwhile requires preparation." I would say that marriage is definitely worthwhile and as a result requires preparation, even before you necessarily know who your spouse is going to be. Therefore, it makes complete sense that I would already be thinking about it. But the thing is, before this somehow came up in my Confession this week, I really didn't know if my thinking was logical. I didn't see the connection that my thinking about what kind of man I want to marry is simply part of the preparation for what will be one of the most important aspects of my life. I thought that I was being ridiculous. I couldn't see the truth in this situation because my sin was clouding my vision. Father allowed me to speak from my heart and took the time to help me to see the underlying truth in what I had been thinking and feeling. He spoke as a wise father, helping his daughter along the path of life. The beautiful sacrament of Reconciliation gave him the grace to be able to absolve me of where I had fallen short and where I had failed and show me the truth and direction of where I needed to go. With my sins forgiven and my being given a clean slate, I was able to clearly hear the truth he spoke to me.

But the thing is, what made this Confession and other Confessions in the past so remarkable has been the priest. Not the individual priest, but rather the way each priest was living out his role of spiritual fatherhood to me. We don't just call these men "father" for no reason. They are truly called to be spiritual fathers to all of us in the Church, and truly beauty radiates when they take this call to heart and allow themselves to receive the grace to carry it out. Beauty is in the world as a means of drawing us to the source of beauty, which is God. When priests truly enter into their role as spiritual father, beauty radiates. Through this beauty, we are brought to the heart of Christ. Forgiveness is at the heart of the Sacrament of Reconciliation and forgiveness is at the heart of a loving father. Just think about the parable of the Prodigal Son, which is also known as the Parable of the Forgiving Father. (Luke 15:11-32) Where forgiveness takes place, the beauty of fatherhood is most clearly demonstrated.

The thing is, every human being needs a father. Most basically, boys need true fathers to learn to be true men and girls need true fathers to learn how real men are supposed to treat them. In society today, we are dealing with a poverty of fatherhood. There are so many people growing up with either the absence or negative image of fatherhood. I firmly believe that many of the problems in our society will not get any better until we fix the fatherhood crisis. With that said, the role of the priest in our lives is so incredibly important. Although we may not have been given the best or any father in our family, we are all given spiritual fathers in the priests in our lives. What a gift this is to be able to have men of character in our lives who have devoted their lives to help us encounter Christ, to speak truth to us, and to give us wisdom about the journey of life. They literally act in the person of Christ. They are present at every moment of our lives. They rejoice with us, mourn with us, laugh with us, suffer with us... but most importantly, they forgive us. Praise the Lord.

St. John Vianney, universal patron of priests, pray for us and for our priests.

Beauty: Holly's Perspective

I would just like to introduce you to a friend, and household sister, of mine. I mentioned her in the last post about the seniors, so you may remember her. I find SO much beauty in this woman. I am continually reminded of this in every conversation I have with her. I have a running joke in my household about how I want to be her. (I may or may not have pulled several pranks regarding this... ;)) But in reality, I am just so inspired by her. There are so many adjectives I could use to describe her... wise... beautiful... faithful... but I think you would get a much clearer picture based on the interview I had with her this evening. I hope you are able to get a glimpse of her beautiful heart through this. 

Me: If you could be an expert at anything, what would it be? 

Holly: Gardener! I would love how to know how to garden really well, but I just don't.

Me: What is your definition of beauty? 

Holly: The Blessed Mother. We try to emulate Mary the Mystical rose, and she is the most beautiful flower in God's creation because she is constantly turning towards the Son. She says she magnifies the Lord, and anytime I see anything beautiful I like to see it as magnifying the Lord...The people I see as most beautiful in my life are those I see Jesus in, whether it's in their demeanor or what they do. 

Me: Who is someone you see as truly beautiful and what makes them so? 

Holly: Ann Hoover, my little sister in household, because in her life she lives out a total gift of self. You can just tell that even when she's not doing something which would be perceived as religious or spiritual, she is pursuing God. She is so beautiful inside and out. She is so gentle and kind...she is so physically beautiful, but I think a big part of that is she is so beautiful on the inside. 

Me: What do you think it takes to be a person of depth? 

Holly: To be a person of depth I think first we have to move beyond ourselves and realize that the world is not about us. I know on the forefront we all know, but on the inside we all struggle with it. When we move beyond that and reality that it's all about Him and others, is when I can be a person of depth. 

Me: What is one way you see beauty in those around you? 

Holly: I don't always remember to do this, but if I could remember to see people's hearts and souls.

Me: What is one way you see beauty in yourself? 

Holly: I see beauty in myself in that God finds me worth pursuing, even when I run away from Him and even when I don't see that in myself. That He STILL sees that I am worth pursuing. If He sees me as worthy of pursuit, than I must be beautiful. Beauty is a manifestation of goodness, then there must be goodness in me. 

Me: If you had a chance to combat one lie that women believe today, what would it be and how would you go about it? 

Holly: The lie that you're not enough and that no one would ever love you as you are. I try to combat it by uplifting people where they're at. Letting friends, family, people I encounter know that they are loved by me. If they can experience love from a person than maybe they can come to a greater understanding that God loves them, too. 

Me: What do you do to speak truth to the lies in your own life? 

Holly: By trying to recognize where that lie stems from...that way you can root it out, and not only that, but have God root it out. I ask God to tell me who I am. Someone once told me that, "if you don't let God tell you who you are, then Satan will tell you who you're not." 

Me: If you could say one statement to all the women in the world today collectively, what would it be? 

Holly: Everybody has had terrible things happen to them in their lives, and everyone has done things that they regret, but those wounds and those lies that you believed and the things that you've done don't have to be who you are. You are good and you are beautiful and you are made for love. Just because those things happened, they don't have to define you anymore because Christ makes us new. 

Me: What is the most important value or virtue for a person to have in your eyes? 

Holly: Profound humility because humility is the root of all other virtue. So go big or go home...True humility is realizing how God sees you - no more, no less. 

I hope this gave you a glimpse into the beautiful friend and sister I have in Holly. I am so grateful for her presence in my life. :) 

Our Lady Rosa Mystica, pray for us. 

Sisterhood

This past weekend my roommate wrote a beautiful blog post about one of her household sisters, and she inspired me to write about my own household sisters. I am going to be studying abroad in Austria next semester, and so this was my last semester with the seniors in my household. This is extremely bittersweet, because although I am beyond excited to be going to Europe, I am going to miss them terribly. They are honestly some of the most beautiful and wisest people I have ever known. They have taught me so much and I know they will continue to be lights for the entire world. They are a living model of the fact that true beauty - not the world's superficial definition of beauty - is possible, attainable, and REAL. And so this post is going to be a tribute to them... :)

Danielle embodies true sisterhood through little acts of love. Her beauty radiates especially through her smile. She teaches me the importance of the little things. The Wednesday night hang outs Danielle and I would have were often the highlight of my week, because Danielle and I would have the best conversations. If we all lived with the genuine care that Danielle does, the lives around us would change.

Leah is a model of strength for me. This woman has been through so much in her life, yet she is one of the most joyful and supportive people I have ever met. She shows me the beauty of having a deep interior joy that no suffering can shake. If more people lived their lives like Leah, the world would be a much happier place.

Sarah is pure joy. She is always ready to rejoice with me, cry with me, or just grab dinner if I need someone to eat with. Although she is busy and has lots going on, she has always had time for me. I distinctly remember one night this semester when she had a huge test to study for the next day, but she still went to dinner with me. She just studied at the table as she sat with me, for she knew it was important to be there with me. In a world where time is one of the most valuable things we have, time can be one of the most sincere acts of love.

Allie is genuinely herself. There is something radiantly beautiful about authenticity, and particularly her authenticity. She has shown me that you don't have to have your entire life figured out to be genuine. Her life is an example that by striving to do what you love, striving to love, you can give the world a taste of authenticity in the face of so much superficiality.

Liz is very much herself. Radically herself. I wish I had gotten to spend more time with her this semester, but one thing that continually strikes me is her confidence in herself. Indecision is a huge problem for many people today. It is truly refreshing and radical to be around Liz who knows she is a beautiful woman of God and lives it.

Christie is continually present to me. We, as human beings, need people we can rely on and Christie is definitely a sister whom I can rely on. Whether I have a joy to share or something to freak out about, I know she is there to listen. We live in such a distracted culture...even while writing this blog post I have been on facebook...twitter...and it is truly a beautiful thing to have a friend who is present to me.

Holly continually shows me the beauty of simple wisdom. There have been several times when I have written down what she has said to me in simple conversation because I wanted to remember it. Many times just talking to her is a day-changer. She is striving for holiness, and it is beautiful that she allows those around her to join in on her journey. Ultimately, we are all journeying together on this road to heaven.

Jenny brings so much joy to my heart! I would say that I know her better than some of my other household sisters, and as a result she knows exactly how to make me laugh - most of the time until I cry. Sometimes when school or life is stressful, if I see Jenny I forget what I was stressed about, because she makes me laugh so hard. Jenny is a model of how to be a light through joy.

Amanda is a gentle soul whose smile brings me so much joy. I have not gotten the chance to get to know her as much as I would have liked, but every time I am with her I just feel peace. She has a loving spirit that continually reassures me.

Catherine has incredible depth. She knows a lot about our faith and it is such a gift to be able to hear her insights about different Scripture readings, because she usually has something to share that goes much beyond the surface. This world tries to keep things on the surface, but Catherine continually shows me the beauty of living deeply, as we were created.

Lydia has only been my household sister for a little while, but I have learned from her. The very fact that she joined our household as a senior shows me that she is open to what God wants and isn't afraid to go after her heart. Many people wouldn't join a household senior year because they think it's not worth it, but since Lydia had the courage to do so, we are all able to experience her beauty. She has SO much to offer. What a blessing.

Britni is a model of femininity. She always dresses in an extremely classy and feminine manner, which brings glory to God. Through her beauty she brings those around her to Christ. True beauty, including external beauty, is of Christ. We live in a culture focused on the externals, but Britni shows me that even this aspect of our culture can be redeemed, by a simple decision to bring dignity through what we are wearing.

Pom is a light to our household and a light in my life. She has been in household the longest out of all of us, and she brings a light of wisdom that comes with experience. One of the beautiful things about life is that since we are all in different places, we all have different gifts to offer. Since Pom is very experienced, especially being a founder of our household, she offers us so much. She constantly gives herself to us in love.


To sum it all up, true beauty is...
Little acts of love.
Strength.
A gift of time.
Genuine.
Confident.
Present.
Wise.
Pure joy.
Gentle.
Deep.
Open.
Feminine.
Light.
Sisterhood.